Recently I lost my Grandpa and things have been rough. I’ve also struggled with depression in the past, but I’m worried it’s coming back. I’m seeing the typical signs (lack of interest and motivation, trouble sleeping, moodiness, numbness) and I’m wondering if this is just a way of grieving or something I should take more seriously. There are definitely people I can talk to that love me, but I don’t want to make a big deal out of nothing. Any advice on differentiating?
I answered:
Here’s the question: do you really think it is a waste of the time of someone who loves you to talk about you grieving the loss of your grandfather? Obviously not. So you should definitely talk to someone, even if it turns out to be grieving and not depression.
If you have the slightest inkling that you might genuinely need help, asking for it and asking for it sooner rather than later is always the right move. Now some people feel that way all the time, and that is a different issue and not one you seem to be dealing with. Losing your grandfather is a big deal and it is not nothing, it is not attention seeking, it is in no way bad to ask someone you love and trust to help you process that. And you should trust your instincts about your depression reappearing (which is totally normal given the circumstance).
I try to think of depression and other mental ailments as if they were physical. Meaning: how would you react if you had suffered a heart attack before and you start feeling tightness in your chest? You would go to the hospital. It might be nothing, but the chance that it is something is very real and we should remain conscious of that. The benefit of catching a problem early far outweighs the downside, which is really nothing like we talked about above.
In my own life I have learned that if the symptoms I experienced when I was depressed (lack of sleep, lack of motion, etc), then my brain will read those physical cues as “oh this is what happens when he is depressed, so I guess we’re depressed now”. So it is good that you noticed these things and I would certainly encourage you to talk to someone about it.
Good marriages take a lot of work. Great marriages take basically everything you’ve got. To do it in a godly fashion you’ve got to surrender yourself body, mind and soul; and have the other person do that as well.
So what comes out of that is a lot of…talking. A lot of talking. More talking than you really thought you were going to need going into it, if you’re male.
Glen Fitzjerrell (Unka Glen) from episode 2 of the Say That podcast
Christians or society maybe are saying sex is dirty, and forbidden. God is not saying sex is dirty, He is saying it’s sacred. That’s what the whole thing is with the rules and the waiting and the whatever. He’s saying I’ve got a way I want for you to hook that up, and that brings us back to post-marital sex.
Glen Fitzjerrell (Unka Glen) on episode 1 of the Say That! podcast
Jed Brewer wrote an awesome worship song about the concept of grace. One of our Bridge team, Tasha Lawson, provided the vocals. It’s got more soul than one of James Brown’s jumpsuits. Who doesn’t need cool music and who doesn’t need to be reminded of the grace we have been given? Put this in your ear sockets, then tell a friend.
Bridge staffers Glen Fitjerrell (Unka Glen), Jed Brewer, Matt King and our friend Lee Younger recorded a podcast. We answer your questions, it’s like Tumblr for your ears.
We have recorded 4 and we release 1 a week this month. If you guys like them, we will make more. So enjoy, tell your friends, reblog, and leave an iTunes rating and review please.
The first entry in the “Grace” contest, from our dear friend Lee Younger and the high school and college folks at Christ Community Church in Oak Ridge, TN.
Anonymous asked: Surrounded by sin at school, to speak or not to speak? In every class there’s just people talking about sex and cussing and all this other stuff. I don’t know if I should speak up or keep quiet like I have been. There”s never really an opening to talk about Jesus. I really realized how all of this going on today, and it was a pretty bad day. I pretty much kept to myself all day, I felt so unproductive Christian wise. What should I do…Speak? or don’t speak?
I answered: ”There’s never really an opening to talk about Jesus” there is your answer right there. That leads me to think that if you were to say something you would be trying to convict them of their sin, and that is simply not your job. That is up to the Holy Spirit.
You can’t change the unwilling. Right now, I would bet that these folks think that what they are on is working out. Hopefully some day they will see that sex, or booze, or approval of others, or whatever they are trying to fill themselves up with, is not working. That is an opening for sharing Jesus. Right now, you would just be trying to convince them that something they think is fine is evil, and that is a tough road to hoe. You are much more likely to piss people off.
One of my favorite stories anyone ever told me was a Young Life staff person said that when he was in high school, his leader asked him one day “do you tell people you are a Christian?”. The guy thought he was about to get some witnessing points, so he said yes and the leader replied “could you…not, because you aren’t helping”. I fear that snapping at classmates about being filthy, filthy sinners would put one firmly in the “people who are not helping” category.
Now if you want to spread Jesus through that school, find the people no one else is talking to, not the ones having loud conversations about how cool they think they are. I guarantee you that your lunchroom has kids who are depressed, who are lonely, whose parents are splitting up, and who think no one cares, especially not God. So you, who are part of His body, go up and strike up a conversation, listen to them, invite them out for a hamburger, that would be something.
Anonymous asked: Tell me why, oh, why do a lot of Christians think Christianity is about being far away from society as possible? Examples: “Oh, you went to the movies today? That’s two hours of Bible study you wasted.” “Jesus could come back any minute, and here you are, going to a pool party.” And my personal favorite, “Please, oh, PLEASE give up secular music! It’ll change your life!” I mean—-really? What the heck is up with that? Did I miss something?
I answered: People have said those things to you…like..out loud? That is unbelievably ridiculous. I love most of the Bible Studies I’ve been to, but 2 hours…we all have lives to lead, save something for next week. And who is to say that Jesus is anti-pool party, Jesus may be a canon ball enthusiast, who’s to say? And I love some Christian music, my Tumblr has it’s fair share of Andrew Peterson, but anybody telling me that the couple of gigs worth of Beatles on my iTunes is a sin…come on dude there are real problems in the world. The short answer is that these people are tools. But your question was what made them that way?
Romans 14:3-4 says this:
The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
Which basically boils down to, when it comes to things that are a matter of personal taste, mind your business. But people who are anti-everything believe that if they accidentally hear 2 seconds of a Beyonce song, the whole world will just explode into a late days of the Roman empire debauchery situation.
So the deal that Paul describes in Romans is: if you don’t like movies or secular music, don’t listen to it. But on the flip side, those of us who dig that stuff shouldn’t make our stand on it either. Verse 19 says:
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification
So, they are failing at that but make sure you don’t. Which shouldn’t be hard because, these people don’t exactly sound like a good hang anyway.
